


The ambivalence of the Vela Pulsar

by Konwaliawrites



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Can’t stretch it enough but wlw version of sonadow, F/F, Light Smut, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sonadow - Freeform, Sonic and Shadow GENDERBEND, The world is gonna end let’s get nasty and freaky instead, mostly plot, vanilla smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22371532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konwaliawrites/pseuds/Konwaliawrites
Summary: The world was supposed to end on that day.But... perhaps she still could do something about it.
Relationships: Shadow the Hedgehog/Sonic the Hedgehog
Kudos: 36





	The ambivalence of the Vela Pulsar

The world was supposed to end on that day.

Humans, mobians, animals… everybody felt it. The way the ground shook beneath their feet, the anxious trembling of the crowd, the way the terrified eyes widened as they watched the transmission over the TV screens back on the planet couldn’t be missed by anyone.

Not even somebody who was far away from the planet; like on a spaceship, for example.

The blue hedgehog ran for her life; the pace barely fast enough to get past all the explosions. The fire was everywhere, making it hard to see—fire to the left, right, and even above her on the metal ceiling, coming from the ruined old wires that were forced to go back to life. Sonic the Hedgehog was one that others have hardly ever seen as afraid — she was the heroine of Mobius, always fighting back without hesitation. Nobody would believe if she had said that what she felt right now was uncertainty -- fear.

The countdown echoing in her ears was merciless, rolling from one number to another, beeping sounds spinning in her head, driving her crazy. The blue hedgehog closed her eyes as she tried to fight the feeling.

_ Focus, Sonic. You have a job to do! _

She had to find Shadow, and fast. The dark female was confusing, enticing, and… about to do something horribly wrong. The cannon bound to destroy the Earth was going to be fired by the end of the countdown, and the dark hedgehog was the only one that could prevent this. Not like she wanted to, much to Sonic’s disappointment.

She  _ knew  _ Shadow was better than that. Shadow was not a mindless robot — she had memories, feelings, and morals, but… wrong people got their hands on her at the wrong time. But it doesn’t mean it couldn’t be reversed, right? Or at least, that’s what Sonic thought every time she tried to convince the striped hedgehog to give up on her revenge and help Sonic save the world.

Truth be told, it felt like every single time Sonic thought they had made any progress, Shadow still stabbed her in the back at the end of the day. It hurt every single time it happened, but this one was especially painful. This time, the metaphorical knife was latched with cyanide and the blue hedgehog could almost feel the deadly venom spread through her insides.

_ I thought that something had finally changed…. _

She opened her heart to the ebony mobian. And she had ripped it apart.

Tears welled in the jade eyes at their last memory. They should have never met on that island. They should have never let all these things happen between them. Their roles should have stayed simple: the heroine and the bad girl. Nothing more.

Clueless, naive little hedgehog she was. Thinking it meant  _ something. _ Thinking she could change Shadow.

But of course, she hadn’t. After the sweet and spicy cinnamon vanished from those gorgeous tan cheeks, that hope, fear,  _ love _ , disappeared from the fiery irises as well and she was once again cold, hard, and untouchable.

And yet, despite all that… something inside Sonic hoped that maybe there was still a chance. Maybe she won’t have to fight her, maybe it can still work out—

“Not another step, Hedgehog.”

Her train of thought crashed horribly with these harsh words.

She could recognize that dark, deep voice anywhere. As well as the cold sensation of a barrel pointing at the back of her neck. Years of fighting robots had taught her that.

The blue hedgehog didn’t dare turn back, terrified this would cause her opponent to lose her patience and shoot. 

“Shadow…” She muttered quietly in a lost voice. Now, if it was  _ anyone _ else, she could have easily dodged the gun, as most people wouldn’t be able to predict her fast dodge even if they tried their best. But it was Shadow, the Ultimate Lifeform, able to match her pace in every way.

“Please,” It was rare to hear Sonic actually pleading. She was never naive enough to the point where she would beg her enemies to stop -- she never hesitated to fight back. But she really,  _ really _ didn’t want to hurt her… “Stop it… there is still time, Shadow, if you just--”

“Shut.  _ Up _ .” Shadow spat out these words like a bitter liquid, her voice sharp enough to cut through flesh. “You’re just trying to destroy everything I am.  _ I can’t let you live. _ ” Her lips slid dangerously close to the cobalt ear as she spoke.

Then, her rival’s lips shuddered just slightly and Sonic realized she hasn’t been the only one troubled by this… whatever it was that both hedgehogs wanted to achieve. Everything in life was just so confusing to the ebony hedgehog, and Sonic’s role in her future was no exception. Why couldn’t she just finish her off, like everyone else that stood in her way? Why were they still standing here, having this conversation, when the Eclipse Cannon was ready to destroy that cursed, rotten planet?

“This is not who you are, Shadow,” The heroine protested, causing Shadow to snort, and Sonic shivered at the way the tip of the gun twitched against her skin. Cold.

“How would you know?”

“Because I saw the real you,” Tempting fate, Sonic slowly turned around to look the dark hedgehog in the eyes, trying her best to look confident despite being a bit unnerved by how the gun was pointing at her throat right now. “I saw it in your eyes back then, and even now… And I know Maria saw it, too. Just… do you think that if she saw you right now, would she be happy?”

There was an almost unnoticeable shudder of the dark frame before raw anger pierced her features,

_ “I told you to shut up!”  _ A Chaos Spear, which Sonic barely managed to dodge, was launched her way, making her stumble into one of the windows of the Ark. She panicked -- this was a very vulnerable place to be in, and she realized she had just played herself.

Shadow sped up to her in a ray of red light, cutting away all possible chances for escape.

“Funny,” The dark hedgehog commented in a sickeningly sweet tone, “One push of this button and you’ll get sucked up into the nothingness of space,” Her gloved, delicate fingers stroked the button of the window frame with adoration, circling slowly around the shape, “So easy I almost have to laugh.” She smirked at the immense unease of the blue hedgehog, thinking she was already winning.

Sonic took that split moment to knock her back with a swift kick that landed her opponent against some of the empty containers across the room.

“Stop lying,” The blue hedgehog said as she approached the other female, who right now slid to the ground, trying to recollect from the powerful kick in the stomach she just got. Sonic was getting closer and closer, and Shadow would back away if only she could, and soon their noses were close enough to touch and the sensations from  _ that day _ came crashing down in an avalanche.

Sonic is the  _ enemy,  _ the ebony mobian scolded herself.  _ This is wrong. Just do what you were made to do; kill everyone that’s in your way. _

“You don’t want to do that; you know it’s not the right thing to do,” The heroine of Mobius pinned down the wrists of her opponent, hating herself for it but at the same time knowing that Shadow could still attack. A sense of panic flashed in the ruby orbs, “I’m sorry, I really don’t like doing this to you. Just… please, hear me out.”

Shadow bared her fangs at the other, the finger at the gun lock trembling with anger. But, strangely enough, she did not try to escape.  _ Good enough, _ Sonic thought.

“I don’t want to give up on you,” The younger female started, taking the shock on the other’s face with no fear, “You’re lost, you’re bitter, and I understand that. I know what happened now, Shadow.” The trembling stopped, and once she recovered from shock she just stared at Sonic in a daze. “And I also know that’s not what Maria would want you to do… she loved this planet, her dream was to live there and be free… please, if not for me, if not for all the living creatures down there, that are now watching the countdown in fear, do it for her. Don’t destroy something she loved so much.” 

Shadow’s eyes welled up in tears as the memories were too much to bear. She was breaking apart in front of her enemy, and she hated every second of it. But… she couldn’t help it. Sonic was right.

“Maria loved you, she loved Earth… so, I think… the best way to respect her wishes would be to take as much care as possible of the things she cared so deeply about.” The blue mobian was blabbering now, unsure of what else to say that might change Shadow’s mind. “I… Rouge has access to the recordings from the security cameras of the Ark. We can help you remember everything and I can be there for you, step by step. But none of this can be done if we all die here,” A pale, gloved hand cautiously, gently moved up to brush the tears that cascaded down the striped hedgehog’s cheek.

“I could never give up on you, because I know that inside, you’re a beautiful and kind individual. Eggman would never notice this, nor would he care,” Their lips were close enough to touch and the dark hedgehog closed her eyes in defeat. It was too much, everything was such a mess and she was confused and scared and didn’t know  _ what to do. _

__ “Please. Help us, Shadow… It’s not too late,” A hand slid from the striped hedgehog’s cheek to loosely tangle through her quills and she panicked, ready to start fighting back in case Sonic tried to pull this one on her… but she didn’t, all she did was pull out the cannon remote that was stored in her quills.

_ Please, help me, Shadow _ . A familiar, sweet voice, so full of sadness rang in her head.

“There, I could do this myself, but… I think it’s your decision to make, isn’t it?” Sonic spoke with a soft smile and Shadow couldn’t believe it. She was giving her a choice? Did she trust her that much or was she just completely crazy?

Slowly, hesitantly, a striped hand went up, fingers hovering above the deactivation button. The younger of the two, upon seeing how uncertain and  _ scared _ the other was, moved her hand up to gently stroke the tension out of the darker one’s palm.

“We can do it, Shads. Together.”

The moment Shadow turned off the deadly machine was hardly registered by Sonic at first, because all the emotions the Ultimate Lifeform tried to crush inside suddenly burst out.

She sobbed loudly, hiding her face in her hands, trembling and screaming. She couldn’t stop, no matter what she did -- her lament seemed endless. It was just too much.

“I miss her so much…” The artificial hedgehog croaked out between her sobs. The grief that shook her normally so beautiful, dark toned alto broke Sonic’s heart.

So she embraced the other female gently, taking in all her sadness and struggles.

“I know, Shadow. I know.” The heroine said while nuzzling the tears away from Shadow’s muzzle. This time, the cinnamon hue that appeared on the ebony hedgehog’s muzzle didn’t bring Sonic joy; she knew that in this case, it wasn’t warmth and embarrassment causing this color, but sorrow and it was killing her.

Eventually, Shadow returned the embrace, clinging to Sonic like a lifeline.

“And… and she’s gone…” Shadow spoke as if in a trance, face buried in her rival’s shoulder. Their relationship should not include hugs, kisses, and passionate embraces, and yet they couldn’t help but come back to each other. It was so confusing to be around the blue hedgehog, and yet she never managed to resist offering Sonic entrance to her world whenever they met.

“I’ll help you. Me and my friends, we’re all here for you. Just… please. You are so beautiful and kind when your eyes are not clouded by hate. I know it must be hard to stop putting this facade on, so I don’t expect it to happen on the flip of a switch, but… join this journey with me?” Sonic murmured, placing a soft kiss atop Shadow’s head. “We can travel around Mobius together, you can see how beautiful it can be. I can help you learn how to live there, show you all kinds of fun stuff, like… roller coasters. And movies, and festivals, and… there are so many things, Shadow. So don’t be afraid, I’ve got you.”

A dry, short chuckle left the dark hedgehog and that actually surprised Sonic.

“I don’t understand what would be fun about seeing a mug coaster spin around, but okay.”

“Oh boy; you have so much to learn, my fair lady.”

They stayed like this for a while, unaware of what was happening outside of their little bubble; as long as everybody was safe and Shadow was here, the heroine had nothing left to worry about.

“The Eclipse Cannon operation is aborted!” The young kit yelled to his friends; teal eyes wide as they stared in disbelief at his portable computer screen, “and the signal went off Shadow’s remote!”

That immediately got the attention of the two mobians in the room; both the female hedgehog and the echidna’s heads snapped right up as they were thrown out of their trance. They have nearly come to accepting their fate, accepting that they have done all they could. But now...

“What?! Show it to me!” Amy replied, grabbing a hold of the little device. When she saw nothing but clear facts displayed on the screen, her expression changed from shocked to content, “well… looks like I finally managed to get to her. Phew! Next time you need a negotiator, give me a call,” she said, smirking with confidence. It seemed that the echidna was having none of it though.

“Wasn’t Sonic fighting Shadow before we got a safe signal though?” Knuckles mentioned, “She probably just kicked the crap outta her for that remote. Not much of your doing here then, Ames. My bet’s on that.”

“Ugh! You just had to ruin that ‘me’ moment, didn’t you?” The former smirk switched into a pout as she got closer to her friend, still dedicated on changing Knuckles’ mind, “My cards have foreseen that somebody will help Shadow change her mind!”

“I thought carrot cards are never really that on point?”

“They’re tarot cards, Knucklehead! And I mean no, not literally, but you get the picture.”

“Guys, I’m sure this is a very important conversation but…” Tails chimed in, redirecting conversation to a different topic “... where’s Sonic?”

The two seemed uneasy but finally, Amy spoke up in a bit worried manner “I’m not sure…” she looked at her wrist communicator, tapped in a couple commands and spoke up again, “but, she sent a safety signal not too long ago, so I guess she is alright?”

The hedgehog in question indeed was okay at the present. Listening to Shadow’s breath calming was enough to pacify the alert heroine.

“Are you okay now?” Sonic murmured quietly, with so much love and care Shadow could literally feel herself melting under these soft hands and kind soprano.

For a moment, she thought of herself as the water, the sea. Her waves finally calming after the storm that shook her, ready to conquer the land.

And with every tender stroke of her striped quills, she could imagine Sonic reaching her hand inside the azure waters, slow movements of the ivory, gloveless palm stirring the current slowly, evening it out oh-so-softly.

“Yes,” The ebony hedgehog spoke, seeming a bit out of it, “Why… why is it that each time we meet, you make me want to be… something else. Anything but who I used to be, anyway.”

Sonic would have laughed at Shadow’s choice of words, but she figured the dark hedgehog was probably too confused and was trying her hardest to communicate anyway, so she kept that to herself.

Instead she grabbed the sides of Shadow’s face, encouraging the other to look her in the eye. The beige muzzle twisted in a beautiful smile, and that eternally bright spark in the lush eyes took the ebony mobian’s breath away.

_ Hey, Sonic, do you even know? There is a star trapped inside your eyes. _

_ Not a single star I have seen among so many aboard the Ark compares. _

“That’s attraction, Shadow. It brings out the best of us. And in your case, it is so, so much more. Heh,” A giggle left Sonic’s mouth as she stroked her friend’s cheek with her thumb, “Not gonna lie, I missed the tender red in your eyes. It’s like the fire, except it doesn’t burn. All it does is warm me up from the inside. So much better than cold, blood red.” She paused here to sigh in bliss. “Please, stay like this.”

Shadow wanted to. She wanted to do just that.

So she put her lips onto Sonic’s, the memory of the two connecting for the first time on Prison Island now vivid in her mind.  _ Guess it never stops feeling amazing, eh? _

Just like last time, the wave of passion felt nearly too much for the both of them, so much that it terrified Shadow and so she pushed away from the heated kiss.

Sonic would have nearly complained, if not the troubled features on the other’s face. She was confused and trying to put the puzzle pieces together. Of course she would. This is what Sonic wanted her to do after all, but the darker hedgehog needed to know she doesn’t have to do it alone.

“It’s okay, Shadow. Don’t be afraid,” Sonic cooed, “Try to let your guard down, I am not going to hurt you.”

Honestly, Sonic wasn’t sure if what the other hedgehog really wanted right now was facing her fears head on, or perhaps some quiet space to reflect. So she decided to let Shadow choose for herself.

“I will understand and respect your decision no matter what, but… if I sense your emotions well, if that desire I see in your eyes is true, then… you want to walk this path together just as much as I do.”

A small smile and a look of relief came over the ebony mobian’s face, but it was quickly replaced by uncertainty once again. She was contemplating, and that, Sonic decided, was good. The azure hedgehog wanted to normalize their relationship and steady it out for a while now, and for that, both of them should be fully aware of their choices and satisfied with the decisions they make from this point on.

_ Enough of that ‘hate you by day, love you by night’ game, Shadow,  _ the blue hedgehog thought to herself. _ Make your pick. _

“But… how?” This question sounded random, but it wasn’t really. It was all Sonic needed to get a full picture of Shadow’s intentions; clear as day, bright as the stars around.

“That question should go right back atcha, Shadow,” The blue heroine replied jokingly, but quickly stopped when she noticed how unamused Shadow was. ”If you were to just listen to your emotions and go with the flow right now, what would you do?”

The ebony hedgehog gasped at these words.

_ Just like that? Is it really that simple? _

“I… I want to try that.”

_ I don’t want to push people away anymore. _

_ I don’t want to push  _ Sonic _ away anymore. _

Their lips connected once again, but this time, there was so much raw  _ desire  _ in Shadow’s movements that for a second, Sonic was unsure of what to do. The striped hedgehog’s tongue turned fast and fierce, her hands constantly wandering from one place to another on Sonic’s heated body and soon, the sounds that left their mouths were too breathless, too needy, too  _ something _ for them to acknowledge in their current state.

Everything happened so fast, yet Sonic made sure to cherish every second of it. Trembling hands, the fever, the way Shadow said  _ please,  _ with so much need and adoration that it made Sonic want to give the other everything she asked for.

It was a little similar to the first time they connected on the prison island — just as messy and spontaneous as before, maybe a little confusing. It also beared a sense of freshness, a new start. The only difference was this calming sense of commitment lingering in the air between the two.

The ebony hedgehog, at long last, closed her eyes and smiled, a genuine smile that seemed to beam with nearly the same heat as that special place inside her.

Striped arms tensed around her shoulders every time all the sensuous waves rippled to all the right places in  _ just the right way _ and the feeling made Sonic  _ ecstatic _ .

“Please, don’t stop,” This time, it wasn’t Shadow who begged; it was Sonic. But why?

“What are you… talking about,” the dark hedgehog asked, too wrapped up in other feelings to put a questioning tone to her words. She could feel Sonic’s fingers stroking her in such a maddening way it took away not only all of her boundaries, but also any coherent thoughts altogether.

“Your sounds,” The blue hedgehog moaned pathetically, “I need to hear more, please…” she sped up her pace in a sense of desperation, getting Shadow to play into her hands, panting louder, moaning higher, abandoning reason. 

“Just like that, Shadow, just like that.” Sonic panted out, feeling oh so close.

“I will give you anything you want, everything you want. Just don’t stop.”

Now, this was a tempting offer for Shadow to take. 

If only she could even fully grasp those words instead of being lost in the inferno; the tension was just too much and she didn’t hold back. 

And then… there was nothing. 

It was overwhelming, yet it was everything she wanted. That blissful blank state, finally wiping her mind perfectly clean.

The blue heroine had something else stealing her attention; the way those striped arms tensed around the lithe blue frame brought back memories of their fights. It was just as exciting, but this time it also brought a sense of fondness and relief. There wasn’t anything else the blue heroine could’ve wanted right now.

Finally. Finally Sonic could express her feelings right and relish in the way Shadow held her tight, basking in the afterglow, shivering like her life depended on it, muscles tensing and relaxing as if overcome by a yellow fever.

So she withdrew her fingers from inside her, careful not to hurt the other due to overstimulation. Not caring about her wet digits for now, she just held the striped hedgehog close, waiting patiently for her to come down.

_ The sound of your racing heartbeat is so beautiful, Shadow. _

Both hedgehogs stayed like this for as long as they needed, their hearts light, their pain pushed away to the farthest corners of their minds.

**Author's Note:**

> There we go, I’m still alive (and no I still didn’t forget about the kiss of life, the chapter is nearly finished). This used to be taking space in my scrapbook as a practice smut, so might as well share it here. Let me know what you think.  
> Also some of you might wonder: why genderbend? This is because I want to experiment :) I have another story of gay sonic and shadow smut, just have to add last couple of screws before I can post it. This was supposed to be a small experiment that will probably never see the light of day but here we are I guess.


End file.
